Kollman

I had two experiences recently that convinced me even more that Congress should not meddle in the workplace. Earlier today, I accompanied my wife to Jo Ann Fabrics. There was a family with young children there. The husband was dressed like a Jamaican beach worker – tee shirt and cut offs – with a high tech wireless head phone stuck in his ear. His three daughters were dressed in traditional American garb; his wife was wearing a full black burka with a slit for her eyes.

I could only imagine the dilemma for my clients confronted with this woman seeking employment. (I am assuming, of course, that women wearing burkas are not prohibited from working. They may be, but I am not an expert on the subject.) There are issues of sex, religious, and national origin discrimination. Plus, people in my culture are distrustful of people whose identities are obscured by masks or costumes. We read “body language” all the time. What would my clients do if this woman asked for a job?

Employers should be able, within reason, to project a certain image to its customers. We have no problem with bans on tattoos, excessive piercings, and strange manner of dress like underwear worn on the outside. But when these things become matters of religious or cultural application, we send American employers scurrying to talk to labor lawyers about the legality of refusing to hire them.

The second experience was more personal. A few weeks ago, I had some chest pain that turned out to be temporary and definitely not a heart attack. Nevertheless, I finally decided that I would take medicine to control my blood pressure and lower my cholesterol. These medicines, according to the literature accompanying them, could result in depression, fatigue, dry mouth, dizziness, and a variety of other side effects, many of which could be controlled by drugs with more side effects.

Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, a guy with my profile may have more rights than a guy with 110/70 blood pressure and LDL numbers under 100. At what point does an employer have the right to say that a person’s medical condition, which may also be a disability, is affecting his or her ability to work? Any one of these side effects could result in a costly mistake or a lack of productivity. Why should it be my employer’s problem that I have developed some of the diseases of aging, reducing my value to the company? Can we really legislate compassion? Shouldn’t I have some responsibility to my employer to control my conditions with diet and exercise, which have fewer complications and side effects than beta blockers and statins?

I suppose I should be grateful that I get paid to interpret the very laws that I question, on a daily basis, for their wisdom. I just wish Congress would be more thoughtful as it contemplates further changes to our nation’s labor laws. I get the feeling that Congress wears its own kind of burka, with very narrow slits for seeing the real world.

The National Labor Relations Board conducts elections to determine if employees want to be represented by a union. In 1996, it conducted 3,300 elections; last year, it conducted 1,502. In addition, the win rate for unions in 2007 declined for the first time in 10 years. Unions last year won about 60 percent of these NLRB elections. The reasons for the decline depend on your point of view. If you are in management, you would contend that employees are rejecting unions as antiquated, obstructionist, and unnecessary. Unions would contend that employers are winning these elections through threats and intimidation. I have blogged in the past about labor legislation big labor wants, which would virtually eliminate secret ballot elections in favor of union authorization cards. If Congress wants to know why unions are losing these elections, it should probably ask employees who - in the privacy of the election booth - have marked their secret ballot “no.” Of course, that would make sense, which is why it will never take place.

The Democratic primaries are over today. Good.

It was reported today that Tavern on the Green, a famous restaurant in New York’s Central Park, settled a discrimination case with the EEOC for $2.2 million. The EEOC had alleged sexual, racial, and national origin harassment against the operators of the restaurant. Having worked in several kitchens myself (my Dad was a baker), I am not surprised by the language used by the various employees and managers. Eventually, joking in the workplace will become a thing of the past.

A federal appeals court has concluded that the Pregnancy Discrimination Act applies to abortions.

Retaliation continues to be the hot new basis for suing an employer. Employees who complain about illegal activity, even when incorrect, are frequently protected against retaliation. A federal appeals court has extended that protection to employees who complain, informally, about wage and hour practices under the federal Fair Labor Standards Act. Eventually, the protection will be extended to employees who “thought about” complaining.

I understand that the Fourth of July will fall on a Friday this year. That disappoints me. While I love three-day weekends myself, I find that the three-day weekend has become the four-day or the five-day weekend for anyone with vacation days or personal days. So, the Fourth of July will be a multi-day weekend this year, which in my mind diminishes the holiday.

Before the federal government decided to institutionalize the Monday holiday, we celebrated Lincoln and Washington’s birthdays on February 12 and 22, respectively. Martin Luther King’s birthday, January 15, was the original day of remembrance. October 12 was Columbus Day. The Fourth of July could not reasonably be relegated to a Monday holiday because, after all, you cannot celebrate the Fourth of July on the first Monday or July. What few understand, however, is that the Fourth of July did not emerge as the nation’s birthday until many years after 1776. The actual act of Congress declaring independence was July 2, and John Adams believed the nation was born in May, when Congress authorized the states to adopt their own constitutions.

I always loved the Fourth because no presents were exchanged, and it frequently occurred in the middle of the week. I love a break in the middle of the week. But a five-day weekend is a vacation, no matter how you rationalize it.

I hope you took a few minutes today to reflect on the meaning of Memorial Day. If not, do it now. The holiday does not exist merely for the three-to-five day weekend.

Last week, I was responsible for the firm’s quick clips. I think I did one, although I scanned the labor reports for news each day. My failure to do more than one was the result of writer’s block, writer’s fatigue, and a lack of interesting news warranting a quick clip.

In addition to this blog, I write articles for the National Clothesline, the Air Conditioning Contractors of America, the Steel Erectors Association of America, the Maryland Association of Roofing Contractors, this website, and a variety of other organizations. I now understand why politicians give the same stump speech over and over again. It is difficult to come up with interesting new material every day, week, or month.

So, if you are interested in reading new, original material from me, I suggest you check out the websites of the organizations listed in the previous paragraph. I will still blog, but I will reserve my blogging for more personal pieces. If you want more labor substance from me, you will have to work for it with your browser.

After spending several hours at the office today, I went home to set up my portable hammock for the first time. I have always wanted a hammock, but there are no trees in my yard that would accommodate a traditional one, and the stand alone hammocks are an eyesore when not in use. I found a good one for 100 bucks online.

I found some nice shade and put my iPod in my Bose player. I took my iPhone and one of the portable phones, in case my wife called from a craft show she was working, and I read a couple of magazines: The Economist and Consumer Reports. Yes, Barack Obama has nothing on me when it comes to elitism. I borrowed money to move when I graduated from law school, but I have embraced the American Dream with both arms. I work hard, and I use that money to buy stuff, sometimes expensive stuff.

I especially love reading The Economist. It is the best written magazine (though they call it a newspaper) I have ever seen. I have learned more about the United States from this British newspaper than I could from reading Newsweek, Time, Forbes, and The New York Times combined. What I especially like is that it is so well written that I find myself reading more articles about the rest of the world that I would otherwise. It never hurts to learn about other cultures. This week, in addition, I learned that a negotiator is more likely to reach an agreement with an opponent by trying to understand his position than trying to appreciate his emotional state (science section); the section on Reverend Wright and Obama was dead on.

It is impossible to run a business these days without understanding globalization and multi-culturalism. The Economist is not a bad place to start.

Oh yeah, the title of this blog is related to the last page of Consumer Reports. There is a two seat toilet being sold, called the TwoDaLoo, at wiserep.com. At $1,400, it seems a bargain. I had to wonder if this is a reflection on American culture or some other phenomenon (like incredible bad taste). Even Consumer Reports had the bad taste to caption the segment: “matching gas masks optional". Jeez.